Overcoming Fear of Success and Fear of Failure
Are you struggling to create the success you crave in your business? Perhaps you have a subconscious fear of success or fear of failure.
Those two fears sound like polar opposites at first glance. But they have more in common than you think! Understanding your core fears is a form of potent shadow work that will help you become better at building your business.
What are Fear of Success and Fear of Failure?
Fear of Success
A fear of success stems from the worry that achieving your goals will bring negative consequences.
Maybe you fear losing friends, changing your identity, or handling the increased responsibility that comes with success. Or perhaps you think that having more success means having less free time. Or perhaps you secretly fear surpassing your family of origin and what they will think about that.
Fear of Failure
The fear of failure is rooted in the dread of disappointment and shame.
For many people, they’d rather not fully give something their all rather than try their best and fail. However, failure isn’t as black and white as your reptilian brain wants you to believe! Even “failure” usually puts us far ahead from where we are now. At the very least, it gives us a new lesson about something important. Both of those results are also a net postiive.
Both of these fears can manifest as procrastination, perfectionism, or avoiding challenges altogether. That also means: not showing up fully, not posting or reaching out to clients, and definitely not making the money you so desire in your business.
Remember, these fears aren’t always rational! So be open to what your gut or heart is telling you without judgment.
How Are These Fears Connected?
Even though they’re opposites, these fears often feed into each other.
The fear of failure can trigger the fear of success, as achieving your goals might put you at risk of failing to maintain them. Conversely, the fear of success can make you less likely to take risks or put in the effort needed to avoid the possibility of failure.
Result? You end up bouncing back and forth from one fear set to the other, never making any progress.
Signs You Might Have These Fears:
- Procrastination
- Not making the money you want to
- Not fully showing up (ie. no one really knows what you do)
- Lack of motivation
- Doing busywork but not making any money
- Don’t know what to focus on
- Self-doubt
- Comparison-itis (ie. looking at other people’s businesses more than you work on your own)
- Perfectionism (ie. can’t post that because it’s not perfect, can’t actually look for clients because your website isn’t done yet, etc.)
- Decision paralysis (“What should I do next?”)
- Irrational fears of rejection or backlash
- Overwhelm
How To Overcome The Fear of Success and Fear of Failure
Acknowledge Your Fears
Fears are a normal part of the human experience! However, it’s the fears that we don’t acknowledge to ourselves that have the biggest power over us.
The first step in overcoming fear is acknowledging it’s even there. Get curious about your fears to begin to unravel them.
Then try out the Worst Case Scenario. Ask yourself: would this really be true? Is there another possibility? Or finally, so what if that did happen?
Your brain uses fear to control you and keep you “safe” (ie. stuck). The best medicine for fear is to challenge it directly so that you can see the so-called monster in the closet was never there in the first place.
Identify Your Limiting Beliefs
Explore the underlying beliefs that fuel your fears. These might be negative thoughts about your self-worth or your ability to handle success.
So ask yourself: what’s the core belief that lies underneath it all? (For example: if I become more successful than my family, they will criticize me. Or if I really put myself out there and fail, my friends will be ashamed of me.) There’s usually one painful thought at the root of your perfectionistic or avoidant business behaviors. Try to focus in on that.
Then challenge that belief! Ask yourself: is this really true? What evidence do I have? Sometimes it’s helpful to write out a full worst-case scenario to show yourself that your fears are really unfounded.
Set SMART Goals
Re-examine your business goals. Are you going after something tangible? Because if they sound something like “make more money” you need a redo.
This is where the SMART goals structure comes into play: You need to go after goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound.
Many people fail to meet their goals (or fail to find business success) because they don’t know what to focus on or how much progress they’re making.
SMART goals help to ensure that your objectives are attainable and that you will achieve them within a certain time frame.
Got some big Oh-F*ck-Yes goals on your To-Do list? Don’t throw them away entirely! Let’s just maket them easier to work with. Try breaking them down your goals into smaller, achievable steps to build confidence and momentum.
Identity Shift
In my work, I teach identity shifting as the foundation of manifestation. Even if you’re not a Woo Woo spiritual girlie, the way you think about yourself is key to your overall success.
Start by noticing your less-than-stellar thoughts. When you tell yourself you’re lazy or not confident enough, what do you hope to achieve with that? What would happen if you shifted those beliefs to believing that you’re capable, confident, and magnetic in your work?
Identity shifting is an ongoing process for business babes. But simply noticing where your sh*tty self-beliefs are is the first step to replacing them.
Forget Perfection
Many women suffer from a perfectionist mindset. “If I can’t do it perfectly, then why bother?” But unfortunately, that belief creates a lot of problems for our businesses.
For one thing, if this is your first business, you’re going to be doing a lot of things for the very first time. So no, your first blog post, your first Instagram post, or your first livestream won’t be perfect–and that’s okay.
Challenge the belief that you need to be perfect in order to make money! Truth is, your future clients or customers want to connect with a real person above all else. You don’t need to be perfect to start connecting with people so start putting yourself out there. There’s really no other way to grow.
Take Action!
One tiny action step is worth ten hours of sitting around thinking about things. Sure, planning is important too. But many people get stuck in the planning phase. That can be part of a perfectionist fantasy: if I think about this long enough, then it will be perfect! But again, that’s never how things work in the real world.
Challenge yourself to get in the ring and get your hands dirty. Making small (perhaps even messy) moves is one thousand times more powerful than the theoretical moves you make in your head. Not only will you gain confidence with every step forward, but you’ll also figure out what doesn’t work way faster than you ever could from just living inside your own mind.
So what did you think? Do you struggle with either fear of success or fear of failure? Which technique will you use to start overcoming those fears?
Fear is a natural human emotion. But it holds the most power over us when we pretend it isn’t there. Simply by getting curious and seeking to understand your subconscious fears, you give yourself so much power over them.
By understanding and addressing your fears, you can transform them into motivation and achieve the success you deserve. Try out these strategies and let me know how it shifts your fear!
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