How To Sell Without Feeling Icky
Are you dying to share your coaching expertise with the world but struggling with the idea of selling? Maybe you feel pushy. Or sleazy. Or inauthentic!
You’re not alone! Many coaches, myself included, initially felt uncomfortable selling because it clashed with their desire to genuinely be of help others.
But what I told you selling could feel natural? Easy? Even good?
Selling doesn’t have to feel like dragging a bag of bricks up hill! It can actually feel simple and aligned. So imagine that and keep reading!
Why Does Selling Feel Sleazy?
Before we get into the mindset hacks, let’s first stop and figure out why we feel so uncomfortable with selling.
There are a few different reasons for this:
1. Societal Conditioning
Our societal conditioning often paints selling as a purely transactional act focused on maximizing profit at any cost. This image can lead to feelings of inauthenticity, especially for those passionate about serving their clients.
2. People-Pleasing
People-pleasing (and anxious attachment styles) are super common in women. And they do affect how you show up to your potential clients and customers! This means you don’t want to sell because you’re afraid of what people will think about you. You think that if you say something ‘wrong’ people won’t like you. So instead of selling, you don’t do anything at all.
3. Your Fear Being Seen
You don’t want to be judged. You don’t want anyone to try your stuff and hate it. Or do you just not want to be perceived? The fear of being seen is super common (which is why I have a whole blog post about it). So if this resonates with you, it’s worth diving into learning more about.
Signs You Need To Work On Your Sales Mindset
- You were programmed to think salespeople were sleazy (by your parents, TV, etc.)
- You freak out at the very thought of selling
- You’re worried about what they will think about you
- You haven’t mentioned any of your offers to your email list/Instagram in aaaages
- You figure your products or services aren’t that great since no one is buying
Here’s The Good News…
Selling doesn’t have to be manipulative or pushy. It can be a genuine conversation where you share your unique value proposition and help potential clients understand how your coaching can transform their lives.
Selling doesn’t have to be sleazy or icky or gross. It can be a win-win for both you and your clients.
You have something valuable to share and you can truly help people. Selling simply allows you to share that magic and create a thriving business.
But that’s not enough to help you get over your fear of selling! So today I’m offering you four key mindset shifts you can make to sell with ease.
4 Mindset Shifts To Help Make Selling A Breeze
Mindset Shift #1: Focus on Serving, Not Selling
If selling makes you feel like a greasy used car salesman, listen up! This is the one mindset shift that can make all the difference. Stop focusing on selling and start focusing on serving instead.
When you sell, you’re talking a mile a minute. You’re naming off all the bells and whistles. You’re laying on the charm. And it all feels kind of gross.
But when you’re serving, you’re listening. You’re noticing what problem your potential client or customer has and you’re telling them how you can help. You’re reacting, not performing. The conversation is about them and how you can help them, not about how great they’ll feel after buying the shiniest new toy on the block.
Mindset Shift #2: Solve Their Problems
When it comes to online business, solving problems is everything. But you can actually start doing this way ahead of time. Yes, your eventual goal is to get someone to click “buy”.
But you can start serving them right now! Think about what problems they’re experiencing and literally help them through both big and small problems. Actually, the more problems you solve for them, the more than they’ll trust you.
Another common issue here is that we think we can’t really help people unless they’re paying us. So we hold back from showing up online. But that’s not true. Yes, you want people to pay you but you can still offer genuine help (in your emails, Instagram stories, blog posts, etc.). That way, people will start to see you as an authority, as well as illustrates the fact that you’re capable of truly helping them.
So don’t be shy! Start talking about the problems your clients face and offer them solutions (both free and paid). The rest of the work will almost do itself!
Mindset Shift #3: Focus On Conversations, Not Conversions
Everyone knows how gross it feels to be approached by someone who really wants something from you. We can always pick up on that energy, even when we don’t actually know what the person wants!
But it’s the same with your potential customers. This is exactly why sliding into someone’s DMs saying “I have a special offer for you” just doesn’t work. People will be on the defensive before you’ve even made your pitch.
Solution? Don’t focus on selling. Focus on connection. Who is this person? Why are they following you or messaging you? Don’t launch straight into why they should buy! Make a joke, send them a voice note, or just have a normal conversation, without pitching anything. You don’t have to talk to every single person on your list all day long! But those little interactions make people feel seen and understood. Over the long run, that turns into sales.
The same goes for sales calls. When you have a discovery call with a potential client, you sometimes start to freak out and wonder what you can say or do to get the person to sign up. But you can drop all the nervousness when you turn it back to them. What brought them here? What issues are they facing? And how can you truly help them? Focus on solving their problems, not signing them up and you will make your life so much easier.
Mindset Shift #4: Value, Not Pressure
Part of why we feel pressure during selling is because we think we have to do allllll the sales work in one conversation. But that’s not actually true. The sales process actually begins long before you start messaging or talking. It starts in the way you show up and present yourself online.
While writing your copy technically isn’t considered selling (it’s marketing) this is one place where you can add tons of value right away.
Again, this will make people see you as an authority. It will make them trust you. And it will make them more likely to come back to you when they’re ready to buy something or sign up for coaching.
Bonus Selling Tips:
- Listen more than you talk. Ask questions genuinely and try to get to the core of what someone is struggling with.
- Remember you’re already selling everywhere, all the time. It’s not something you do on a sales call or in a DM. So there’s no need to freak out when you do it!
- Think about how you “sell” yourself during a job interview or first date. Apply some of those same principles to what you do, day in and day out.
- Pretend the sale is already done. Talk to them as if they’ve already made their decision. We want to step away from convincing and step into certainty.
- Look at people you admire. If there’s someone in your industry or niche, look at what they do. How are they selling in their copy, Insta captions, podcasts, etc.? What do you like about their approach? Make notes and see what you can apply to your own business.
- Practice by pretending you’re selling to a friend. Record yourself just talking excitedly about your product or offer. How do you present it, when you don’t feel like you’re trying too hard? Take notes and try to come back to this energy during your actual sales calls.
So what did you think? Do you struggle with mindset blocks around selling? Where do you think you got those from? Which mindset shift will you focus on first?
This is your reminder that many of the things we struggle with in business are really just mindset problems. The good news about that is that also means you can change them. So shift your focus, and let yourself get excited about the prospect of selling with ease!
PS Looking for more? You might also want to check out this post about how to heal the fear of being seen or this one about the 10 most common abundance blocks for entrepreneurs.